Bagaimana aku melalui hari semalam - 29 March 2007

Hampeh !!! i think that's the best word to describe what i had going through yesterday.....hahahaha......started my horrible day with a stupid event and its a disaster coz i worked like an idiot (it makes me think twice about my existence in KL) ........and end the event of the day with a broken heart, my crush to that person came to a full stop.....hehehe..i dun know either why it must be happened in the same day and had no relation to that stupid event!!! But its true.....that girl must be his girlfriend!!! "jom balik", he pelawa....By just visualized walking from the convention centre to suria KLCC with both of them......Nooo..its not a good idea.......gilossss....i rejected his "excellence" proposal and choose to do a shopping instead and managed to spend RM300++..........That's the only good things happened that day ........hahahah..

After all.......tomorrow will be another day!!! Yesterday only a history....

Not Normal...

I wish ...wooooo, I wish....everything went normal..my..my.....that holiday didn't help!!!!!! i thought everything went well......started with a heavy rain when we are leaving KK on friday....flight asyik langgar awan dan landing dengan "bagusnya", it caused me a great headache for a day.....running to Bed's house on night to complete last minute assignment..managed to get only3 hours sleep ...kemas bilik yg berselerak dgn barang2 yg still x unpack.......balas dendam tido.....and went to work today....starting with unexpected greed and smile from that person who i tried so hard not to be face to face with (it makes me smile foolishly and cursed myself for it in the same time)...and the rest of my day will be in doom after restructure meeting.....it's only 12 am and i felt like forever.

I'm not praying hard enaugh!!!!

I'm Leaving....

I'm leaving for good...i really hope when i return back...everything is going to be as normal as i wish........i'm leaving KL....I'm leaving a person i'm suppose to be apart off......i'm leaving peoples who start asking me questions which i dun want to answer.......

3 days........i wish i can leave everything but not my assignment!!! how can i forgot that i need to submit it a day after i'm coming back from KK .....arggggghhhhhhhhhhh

If you go away......

If you go away on this summer's day,

Then you might as well take the sun away

All the birds that flew in the summer sky

When our love was new and our hearts were high

When the day was young and the nights were long

And the moon stood still for the night bird's song

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.

But if you stay, I'll make you a day

Like no day has been,

or will be again

We'll sail on the sun,

we'll ride on the rain

And talk to the trees and worship the wind

But if you go, I'll understand

Leave me just enough love to fill up my hand

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.

If you go, as I know you will

You must tell the world to stop turning

Till you return again, if you ever do,

For what good is love without loving you?

Can I tell you now, as you turn to go

I'll be dying slowly till the next hello

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.

But if you stay, I'll make you a night

Like no night has been, or will be again

I'll sail on your smile, I'll ride on your touch

I'll talk to your eyes that I love so much

But if you go, I won't cry

Though the good is gone from the word goodbye

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away.

If you go away, as I know you must

There is nothing left in this world to trust

Just an empty room, full of empty space

Like the empty look I see on your face

I'd have been the shadow of your shadow

If you might have kept me by your side

If you go away, if you go away, if you go away..

_Mukhsin OST_

A word from boyfriend.......

Got an email from my penang boyfriend.....hehehe...bertanya kabar....and he didn't forget to asked soalan "cepu emas" ...... and i start mengadu pada dia, how lagging i am on this matter and how hard to find a good man here in KL...... his words comfort me .....

"For your good heart, i am sure u will get someone good. Just wait and pray, and leave things to the one up there....take care my girlfriend"

Take care boyfriend.......i hope your relationship going well....hehehe

Till we meet again and it's going to be pretty soon......miss ya, darling.

Cinta Pertama Mukhsin …Kisah ringkas yg mendalam ertinya

Yasmin Ahmad cuba membawa satu cerita dalam segmen hidup manusia yang mungkin dilupakan. Cinta pertama, atau sebenarnya cinta monyet (berdasarkan cerita ini). Ramai yang pernah mengalaminya, tapi mungkin tidak pernah mengenangnya.

Pemandangan, cerita berkenaan kehidupan kampung, permainan semasa budak-budak.....mengingatkan kembali zaman semasa kanak-kanak yang amat mengembirakan.......Cerita tanpa dialog yang banyak masih mampu mengungkap maksud yang tersirat.

" Apabila orang bertanyakan tentang cinta pertama, sekurang-kurangnya aku mempunyai ceritaku sendiri. Walau jika diingatkan sekarang, tidak banyak yang mampu diimbas kembali tetapi ia masih mampu mengukir senyuman di bibir".

WHen YoU FaLL iN lOVe wItH a wroNg PErSoN .....

Have u come across this kind of situation? There is a guy u knew that he definitely do not fit your long list of a guy you dream about. And in the same time there is a guy who 96% fit into your list and when you see him at the first place, you knew he is the one. But your heart seems to betray and making you confuse when it welcomes the wrong person. It seems that you choose a dark and empty road which leads you to nowhere. Leaving a highway with a lot of light splashing on it and you know that when you follow that road, it will lead you to a safe and nice place. Do we need to follow the heart or the mind? Is there any possibility that this wrong person can turn to be right? Does its really true that human tend to make mistake? Or actually choose to make one? Or in our life actually there is no white or black but only mixture of it, grey………

I Missed my Flight to Korea!!!

Korea.....waaaa.....i missed the flight...hahahah.....

My buddy ika went to Korea last night. After a long preparation, money, korean language and not to forget a korean pen-pal, ika flew to Korea with a high hopes. i'm supposed to join her but with all the responsibilities in Malaysia, project, assignment, night class, weekend class......i just can sent her off with a prayer that she had a safe journey and a happy time.

Ika, dun forget to snap as much pictures as you can and of course to include "uppa" pictures in it. And bring me something that i can't find it in Malaysia but only in Korea ( u know what i mean...wink).

and till next week before she come back, i just can keep watching all korean dramas and imagine myself to be there.........

Korea....wait for me!!! Aja! Aja! Fighting!!!!

HAPUS AKU

Ku tuliskan kesedihan
Semua tak bisa kau ungkapkan
Dan kita kan bicara dengan hatiku
Buang semua puisi
Antara kita berdua
Kau bunuh dia sesuatu
Yang kusebut itu cinta
Yakinkan aku Tuhan
Dia bukan milikku
Biarkan waktu waktu
Hapus aku…
Sadarkan aku Tuhan
Dia bukan milikku
Biarkan waktu waktu
Hapus aku

Amin Junior is coming to earth!!!

hehehe...Gembira sungguh bila Amin Junior lahir !! he's so cute... so little...sampai takut nak pegang dia ....... x sabar nak tunggu dia besar sedikit, so boleh tgk lesung pipit dia coz dia asyik tido jer sekarang....hahaha....agak2 lesung pipit dia sama x macam Anuar Zain!!!

opsss...i'm talking like he's my own baby..hehe...Tahniah Ayu & Bapa Amin dengan kelahiran anak sulung u all... Aku tumpang gembira!!

Precious little boy, Nuruddin Amin ...... nice meeting you yesterday .....Welcome to this fantastic world especially when ur auntie Siha is around..muahahah ( for sure Ayu bimbang dgn ayat ini!!! ..hehehe)

Le Tour De Langkawi 2007

I'm so tired !!! But still x leh nak ambik book off ari ni coz the other 2 team members dah awal2 cuti. Its been my 1st outstation kat sini..... 10 ari x der kat opis, berjalan dari kulim, Kota Bahru, Kuala Terengganu, Chukai, Karak, Seremban and back to Dataran Merdeka. Muka hitam terbakar tak hingat, x cukup tido coz setiap malam just tido kul 2-3 pagi and bangun balik kul 6 pagi....standby at booth tgh panas terik, kul 5, terus chow drive pi next station yg selalunya kena drive 3-4 jam.....routine setiap hari selama 10 hari.

Anyhow, its a new experiance...even bab x cukup tido, kijer tgh panas terik di hari cuti dah biasa..tapi straight for more than a week and berjalan jauh tu, its a brand new!!

But i loved it! i loved this kind of job ..... but somehow, deep inside my heart i realised something. Sometimes you need to sacrifice what you love the most coz it might not suit your belief or norms.

And something scared me the most......something i should not even dare to think about......but now, i felt that i already involved...i hoped its not true....i hoped it will be swept away by time.

I'm 27 !!

27 ........... I turned 27 on the 27th days in the year of 2007........what a nice combination.....It will be a lucky year..." I hope this year something good* will be happen, murah rezeki, diberkati Allah selalu...bla..bla..." among list of wishes i got. Thank You, guys.

However, i start my day, forgetting my own birthday. Reminded by sms from my best friend. i guessed when we are older, we are not so eager, excited and waited for it anymore. Mungkin kerana ia hanya akan mengingatkan kita betapa setahun lagi masa menginjak dan umur meningkat, setahun lagi masa berlalu mungkin di sia-siakan. Or maybe bacuse we used to it, it just another year pass by, nothing will change.

But when i drove back from my class to Ika's house on the late afternoon of that "i turned 27 on the 27th days in the year of 2007", i told myself how lucky i am for still breathing on that day. Thanks God for that. Thanks for His mercy, aku dapat menikmati kesenangan dunia ini, ibu-bapa, kaum keluarga, rakan-rakan, pekerjaan dan segala-segalanya.

Tapi adakah aku sudah cukup berterima kasih di atas pemberian Allah ini? Adakah aku sudah cukup menghargai pemberian Allah ini? 26 tahun yg telah berlalu adakah telah aku sia-siakan?

......................i cried.....................................

i wish i can do more...i will do more, insyallah.

Pencarian Mencari Teman Hidup Seperti Perjalanan Menaiki Keretapi Tanah Melayu...ahahah

Mengapa aku melihatnya sebegitu? Bukan kereta atau bas express, coz tiada org baru yg kita akan jumpa sepanjang perjalanan except masa pi toilet atau makan di R&R....Bukan kapal terbang coz perjalanan terlalu pantas dan tidak berenti2.

Impian memiliki teman hidup seperti stesen akhir Keretapi Tanah Melayu kat utara nun....dan memulakannya dari stesen di selatan. Sepanjang perjalanan yg panjang dan pasti lama itu, pasti kita akan bertemu dengan ramai orang dan mungkin muka baru di setiap stesen keretapi itu berhenti. Ada yg kebetulan duduk disebelah kita, berkenalan dan memulakan perbualan, serasi. Jika teman disebelah seperti ini, tentu perjalanan tidak lagi rasa bosan, tapi malangnya teman yg serasi terpaksa turun di stesen yg seterusnya. Hati akan kecewa dan terkilan. Tetapi keretapi tidak akan berhenti lama menunggu kita, perjalanan mesti diteruskan. Mahu tidak mahu, kita juga harus meneruskannya. Menanti teman duduk di sebelah yg baru.

Adakala teman duduk di sebelah hanya membantu diri, tidur. Adakalanya pula amat menjengkelkan hati hingga kita pula yg mencari tempat duduk kosong lain untuk melarikan diri. Adakalanya duduk berseorangan tanpa penumpang baru hingga stesen berikutnya.

Dari stesen ke stesen, berharap akan berjumpa dengan teman duduk disebelah yg serasi dan akan bersama hingga sampai ke stesen akhir bersama. Tapi ada kemungkinankah stesen akhir bukan setakat di Utara Malaysia? Bagaimana jika disambung hingga ke hujung dunia? Memikirkan begitu, hati jadi gundah ..........

BLUR

I wish i can cry, i wish i can run, i wish i can shout out loud, i wish i can resist, i wish i can understand, i wish to be far away from here ...but yet i can't and i become blur and confuse.

........The Smile Has Left My Eyes......

There was someone told me that i'm like a star, a bright star. He asked me to be his shining star on his sky. But after a while, he told me that he had to make a hard decision by letting me go. The reason was he felt that he is making me sad and he scared if i'm not as bright as i am before if he continued keeping me under his sky. So, he said goodbye and told me, "Awak, i will be greedy if i still want to make you mine coz you will shine brighter on other's sky". Man, i think you are wrong. A star actually will shine better when it closed to you. How come it can be bright if you let the star away from you.

Pride & Prejudice

Gossshhh.....i wish somebody buat filem berdasarkan novel ni..it will be great, coz story dia mmg bagus. Itu yg aku harapkan bila habis baca buku ni lebih kurang 12-13 tahun dulu. hahaha....i got the book as a present after winning a competition which i can't remember anymore during my school time.

Film ini dibuat berdasarkan dari buku Jane Austen. Pernah dibuat filem for the first time on 1995 but i just watched the second remake on 2005. And due to certain limitations, aku hanya berjaya tgk filem yg aku tunggu2 ni selepas setahun lebih ia ditayangkan.

Synopsis:

The story follows the Bennet sisters, a group of fine young women who, with the assistance of an overbearing mother, are in search of appropriate men to marry. Only the father seems immune to the high drama going on in the household as Mother Bennet strategizes over how to get her brood married off.
Elizabeth (Keira Knightley) is the defiant one of the bunch, struggling against class restrictions and only wanting to marry for love.
She meets up with the taciturn Mr. Darcy (Matthew Macfadyen) and is both repulsed and attracted to the wealthy gentleman. As the two are forced together in various social situations, Darcy soon wises up to the fact he’s smitten with the fair Elizabeth. Meanwhile Elizabeth rejects a foppish suitor, becomes enamored with Darcy’s enemy, and watches her sisters fall in and out of love before ultimately giving into the fact she and Darcy are meant for one another.

Hahah.....its a great story afterall. The story suits the title. Because of prejudice, people will misjudge others. Beause of pride, people tend to hide their feelings.

SOMETIMES THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH YOU WANT TO BE WITH IS THE ONE PERSON YOU CAN'T BE WITHOUT

Long Lost Friends Reunion Week

Last Week was the best week ever.......Perjumpaan dengan rakan-rakan lama.....
1st Reunion: Started with a sms from Sab and bla..bla..bla.....kami jumpa di Mid Valley khamis last week. Aku, Sab, Awin and Gore. Osmet semasa di Penang. Dah hampir 3 tahun kami x jumpa after aku ditransfer ke seberang and diorang habis belajar di USM. Cuma Alin, Kak Ruby and Aini yg takder. How i missed them so much. Bila hujung minggu, kami lepak2 di kedai nasi Kandar Kayu dengan berteman segelas teh tarik pada pukul 1 pagi, di dinginkan angin laut malam Padang Kota Lama dan memandu Kelisaku melihat aktiviti malam di Lebuh Campbell ..... I guess my friends, we will have more great experience together, here in KL !

2nd Reunion: I knew this young man, someone from my past. He knew me too, from the way he looked at me. Goshhh......Din. Apa yg hang buat kat sini ? Last year, i bumped to him at Penang. Dia kerja berdekatan dengan officeku di Penang selepas habis Master di USM. Tapi apa yg dia buat di stesen minyak Petronas Simpang? Aku kerja kat sini sebulan lepas, sementara. Tapi kenapa? Aku baru sembuh sakit, sakit yg memaksa aku berenti kerja.

Hahaha.....i'm a bad, bad, bad friend. Lepas aku keluar dari SMTM utk bersekolah di SMTI after PMR, aku dah lost contact dengan bebudak di SMTM. Tidak sengaja atau disengajakan, aku juga lupa.

Dia tdk secerah dulu lagi, mukanya semakin cenkung, senyumnya tidak seriang dulu lagi dan pandangannya padaku bagaikan mengatakan betapa aku bertuah dan dia tidak. My, how can i be so lucky if u think u are not. Jika boleh, aku ingin bersemuka dgn org yg buat hang sakit. Jika aku tahu lebih awal, aku akan membantu semasa sakit. Jika aku tahu, aku akan menemankan hang seperti hang temankan aku dulu. Jika aku tahu, aku akan berikan hang galakkan seperti yg hang buat dulu....Jika aku tahu.....

Maafkan aku sahabat, aku tidak boleh mengubah apa yg telah berlaku. Tapi mulai hari ini, aku berjanji utk sentiasa ada bila-bila masa yang diperlukan.

Gambate Kudasai! Aja! Aja! Fighting.....Insyaallah, everything is going to be alright, once again.

REFLECTION

Look at me

You may think you see

Who I really am

But you’ll never know me

Every day, is as if I play apart

Now I see

If I wear a mask

I can fool the world

But I can not fool my heart

Who is that girl I see

Staring straight back at me?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

I am now in a world where

I have to hide my heart

And what I believe in

But somehow

I will show the world

What’s inside my heart

And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl

I see staring straight back at me?

Why is my reflection

Someone I don’t know?

Must I pretend that i’m someone else for all time?

When will my reflection show

Who I am inside?

There’s a heart that must be free to fly

That burns with a need

To know the reason why

Why must we all conceal

What we think

How we feel

Must there be a secret me

I’m forced to hide?

I won’t pretend that i’m someone else

For all time

When will my reflections show

Who I am inside?

Burung Kecil.....

Beranikah burung kecil itu terus terbang
Terbang ke tempat yang ia juga tidak pasti akan sampai
Tidak pasti hingga bila ia perlu melanyah di udara
Tidak pasti adakah arahnya juga betul
Tapi yang ia pasti tempat itu adalah tempat yang ia mahu

Ia terbang tempuh angin
Tempuh hujan
Tempuh panas
Terlalu lama ia terbang
Terlalu banyak rintangan

Kadang kala, burung kecil itu hampir berputus asa
Tempat yang dituju tak kunjung tiba
Tempat ia bermula tak terjangkau untuk kembali
Kiri, kanan, atas dan bawah
Hanyalah langit putih...
Penatnya hingga sampai ketika
Tangis dan semangatnya tidak dapat lagi membujuk hati
Hinggakan jika diikut hati....hanya ingin berhenti mengepak
Jatuh mengikut angin.........mati

Tapi itu bukan jalan akhirnya..
Sesekali bukan
Oleh itu...terbanglah burung kecil
Terbang walau sepayah manapun...
Walau sepenat dan sesakit manapun..
Walau perlu menangis..perlu meraung
Hati perlu butuh untuk terbang
Terbang hingga tempat yang dituju tiba
Jika terpaksa jatuh mengikut angin ...jatuhlah tapi bukan kerna memilihnya

Digital Homes : World Habitat Day 2006 Appreciation Luncheon

Lunch anybody? I mean free lunch......rugi2 saper yg tak ikut lunch today at cyberviewlodge hosted by MCMC....All people yg sepatutnya pergi termasuk my boss tiada hari ni...and i'm alone from GM forced to attend it. Luckily Juanda from SmartSchool pun nak lari dari bos dia and Ika yg aku tarik sekali utk temankan aku (sorry ya geng) sudi nak temankan aku...

My..My....the food mmg best....and lunch tu mmg santai...i thought formal sangat...thanks God! Alhamdulillah.

and guest what!! after lunch, kita org straight a way, dragging Juanda with us jalan-jalan di MMU....It changed a lot......But i still remember semua jalan, bilik kuliah and food court yg pernah ada aku dan kawan2 aku dulu.....but now it filled with unfamiliar faces....and all memories once again buried when we left.